So I am still stalled out. I went to the doctor and have only lost 5 pounds in a month. 5 freaking pounds. I am obsessing. Last night I weighed my self at 1am as I could not sleep because my back hurt, and was just doing random things. I weighed in at 243. At 7:30 the next morning, back at my old friend 252. WTF. I think I am losing inches, and my clothes are fitting very loosely.But I am still so fucking discouraged.
WHY AM I NOT LOSING ANY FUCKING WEIGHT! It’s driving me crazy. Crazy I tell you. Shouldn’t it be dropping off of me? Everything is what they are teaching me. I am eating healthy, no junk, good carbs etc.
My first night at home I had the shakes SO BAD, I had like 4 blankets on, and I was just feeling crappy. Luckly I was tired so I slept. I made sure to try to get water and protein in. It was not easy. All the shakes made me gag, the isopure made me gag.
Soon I was cleared for yogurts, and my frustration level was reduced a bit. I tried my best to get as much in as I could. A yogurt could last me all day long. I forced myself to drink protien. I fell in love with tomato soup. It was my best friend.
Emotionally was a different story. I know the actual surgery made me emotional, and combined with ansetisa that was still in my body I would cry a lot, and have anxiety regarding my protien goals. I had to calm down. I was glad to go back to work after the two weeks I took off. The routine of work helps me so much.
Day by day it got better. I had some wonderful friends who send flowers, and calls, and talked me off ledges. Soon enough I was cleared for purees, and then regular food. Family dinners and get togethers were sad cause I could not eat and have fun. I did have a teaspoon of vanilla ice cream at my sisters birthday dinner. It was glorious!
My rules with real food are simple. Anything new I try at home. I do eat some carbs, not sure if its too much or too little, I’ll know more next week at my doctors apt. I eat a ton of chicken. Hamburger meat is okay, but an actual hamburger is really the only thing that has not agreed with me. I chew really well, which to my surprise that habit developed fast. I was cleared to use a straw, which was good as my water consumption went up ten fold. And oddly enough my gas went down. I drink mainly water. Sometimes I do have some Tropicana 50, but I water it down. One thing that I do find is that eating has become more of a burden, then enjoyable. People tell me that will go away and I will feel normal again.
My initial weight loss was a solid 22 pounds from surgery date. 36 from the summer of low carb diet. Sad thing is now I am in a stall. Nothing is happening. Nothing is moving. NOTHING. I had a breakdown yesterday about it. My exercise is extremely limited due to bad back pain. But I am just gonna have to figure it out.
I guess it’s time to give an update. This month has been a ton of ups and downs, and wrapping my head around the change. This is what happened to me at the hospital.
Hospital:The surgery it’s self was a breeze, I got there in the morning, was given an IV. The first one did not take, so they had to do another. I got a heprin shot, and had to take an antacid. I had time to relax and just hang out, then Nurse Kevin came and got me. I walked down to the operating room, and had to put on a hair net thing. Then I sat on the table, and layed down, and then they asked me if I was okay. I did cry. I said I was just scared through my tears. Then I woke up in recovery. I heard them on the phone to the unit I was being transfered too, and they said I was sweet and quiet. Up to my room I went.
The only pain I had experienced was a little bit after the surgery, and even then it was like a 6. My care was excellent, and the only drag was getting up to go to the bathroom or walk, and had to unplug everything, and take off the leg thingys that prevent clots. My gas pain was non exsistant, and really nothing hurt. Sore yes, but not painful at all. In the hospital I accepeted the pain meds they gave me so I think that helped keep on top. But I did not have any pain pumps or anything like that. If it hurt I had to ask for pain meds.
The worst part was ansteisa. It made me super paranoid, shakey, and I would see things for which I had no frame of reference of when I shut my eyes. I did the leak test, and that went well. I will say that everything made me tired. But lets face it, a hospital is a place for people to make you better, but to FEEL better you need to be home. Your own things, your own space, and your own quiet.
Once I proved I could drink my fluids and Isopuke, I was allowed to go home.My doctor (who is all kinds of dreamy) came and asked how I was, and feeling. He sprung me free! My sister drove me home, and I was glad to be outta there, but scared at the same time. Some weird things to note after surgery: My teeth hurt from being intabated. I had such a giant gross snot ball in my sinus’ that thankfully came out on the ride home and got to spit out. I was lucky, my main was so minimal that I have not even had a Tylenol for pain.
Sweet Jesus! I ate chicken salad! Pureed chicken salad, but chicken salad nonetheless!!!!!! It was glorious!
I hate protein drinks andProtein shakes. Nothing is good and it’s a struggle to get them in. Water? A breeze! Waking with a bad back? Getting it done. Drinking shit in a bottle? Just not happening.